Thought Provoking

About 6 months or so ago, an acquaintance asked me this question, 'How do you keep a positive perspective working in the wedding industry? You propagate 'happily-ever-after' unions, when in reality for many, the relationship goes downhill after marriage. The bubble bursts, the passion fizzles out and we are left in a mundane relationship.' If I had answered instinctively, it would have been, 'If you really feel that way about your relationship, you probably have not worked hard enough on keeping the spark alive. And if the thought of having to make the necessary effort to re-ignite the passion seems too daunting, then perhaps it's time to move on.'

I bit my tongue. Instead, I offered a lame response, something to the effect of hoping that the marriages that worked outnumbered those that didn't. The question nevertheless has stayed at the back of my mind for some reason. Now, I don't profess to be an authority on relationships, let alone marriage, considering my feeble track record. But from observing friends, industry colleagues, family and of course clients who have thrived on committed, long term relationships and marriage, I suppose I can draw a few conclusions. Putting your spouse or partner first. Yes, the principle of 'loving thyself' is important but equally important is putting your partner's feelings above one's own. The ability to compromise and the willingness to adapt. Yes, we get set in our ways but some give and take is necessary, finding the middle ground in dealing with contentious issues and positions. Spontaneity and being the romantic fool. Being stuck in a rut and in a monotonous routine spell trouble; everyone likes romantic gestures, little surprises, don't we all? Thoughtfulness, trust and mutual respect, the list goes on.

It's the wedding season. I've probably attended one too many a wedding, and my cousin's getting hitched this weekend as well. Perhaps that's why I felt the need to address this lingering question that was posed to me all those months ago. One thing is for sure, I still do hold steadfast to the potential of 'happily-ever-after'. I say so not because I work in the wedding industry. I say so because those around me who are blissfully coupled seem much more contented, even if it means having to work on all the above, when compared to the singletons. Sure, the latter have the freedom and independence, they can live their lives as they please without having to answer to anyone, but I do wonder if they feel that missing link from time to time. I do, but that's another story, for another time ..............

Photo of my friends, Leticia and Tjun Hong, at their ROM celebratory luncheon, after having been an item for almost 2 decades.